Helping Your Loved Ones Downsize

Are you one of the many adult children who is looking for a “place for mom or dad” (or other loved one) to live during the last chapter of their life? If so, one of the first steps will likely be to “downsize”, i.e. sell some things, give away some things, pack some things, and throw away a lot of things … a tough decision and process.

As you are packing and saving and throwing away, what if there was a simple way (fast forward 6-12 months) to ensure your visits with your loved ones were meaningful? What if, during your visits, you had more to talk about than what they had for lunch or what episode of “Andy Griffith” they watched that day?

What if, during the downsizing and packing process, you had thoughtfully considered packing items that held special meaning? It takes just a little extra time … really, and will provide hours of future meaningful conversation and a legacy for you to treasure forever.

Grab a suitcase or trunk or even go to Walmart and buy a plastic tub with a lid.

During the packing process you may find:

1. Hand-written recipes
2. Bible
3. Pictures (especially the old ones)
4. Videos (probably the old reel to reel tapes)
5. Sheet music
6. Awards
7. Old greeting cards with hand-written messages
8. Hand-written letters
9. Old tools
10. Old gloves
11. Military keepsakes
12. Old jewelry or medals

These are the kinds of items you will place in the suitcase or trunk.

This suitcase/trunk filled with keepsakes will go with them wherever they go (independent living, assisted living, nursing home/care center). Please do not “store” these keepsakes in your basement but DO send with them.

When you visit, pull out the trunk, select an item and ask questions, “Grandma, tell me about this recipe for Homemade Cinnamon Rolls.”  When did you make them? Are there any “secrets” … etc.

Finally, it is so important that you “document”  (in something as simple as a spiral notebook) the stories that are shared with you.  Keep the notebook inside the trunk so that anyone visiting can add to the book.

Celebrating Personal Treasures helps people write their life stories in the Legacy of Life program.  People have attended our workshops who want to leave their legacy by writing their life story but have lost track of their special memories and keepsakes.  They leave feeling sad and lost.

Please help your loved one keep their memories close by taking just a few extra minutes to “sort and set aside” their keepsakes into a special trunk or suitcase and then send it with them wherever they may go. It will be the beginning of a heartfelt experience and hopefully many warm and enlightening discussions between you and them.

If the time comes when your family has an interest in putting together a coffee table book with their story and keepsakes, we would be honored to assist you in that process. 

Assisted Living

When it was "time" for my husband's parents to leave their farm, one of his sisters made the decision to move them to the "city" to a lovely facility. His sister lives about 8 hours away and wanted them to be in capable hands and be comfortable, so she visited a number of retirement homes with them. Collectively, they chose a lovely place, which was about a 20 minute drive from us ... new building, yummy food, fun, interactive activities ... and guess what ... they were unhappy. My husband and I took them out to dinner a couple of nights a week, took them on day trips, and interacted with them as much as we could ... still ... they just were not happy.

So we took it upon ourselves to move them 3 minutes from us, which has been good as we can check in on them every single day, take them to ball games, shopping, out to dinner, run errands, etc. Still, if you ask them, they are not happy (we think because they long for "home" on the farm). We moved them into an apartment at JKV and pretty much, set up "home health" on our own. If you are considering moving your parents/loved ones to a retirement village where they need some care/attention but not full time, it is really working for us and saving a lot of money. We have created a stimulating, interactive, loving environment where they don't live with us, but we are very involved in their lives. Their meds, appointments, meals, social activities are all managed by us. We believe it is as good as it can be for them during this "chapter" of their lives and are so thankful we have the opportunity to be close to them.

Let me know if you'd like to chat about our processes. Through a small amount of trial and error, we now are running a well thought out plan that will might work for your parents too.

Grief

Grief and sadness after loosing a loved one waxes and wanes. I have friends, Michele and Brian, who lost their daughter on July 4, 2011, after a celebratory gunshot wound. Their family was in the midst of celebrating with fireworks when their daughter, Blair, fell to the ground. Today, Michele puts her energies into promoting organ donation and has met the boy who received Blair's heart. She has listened to and felt Blair's heart beating, which is a miracle. Still the grief and sadness fill her heart every single day and the scar will never, ever heal.

Sad ...

If you are grieving after losing a loved one, Kidwell Garber recommends journaling ... we received this from them today and thought it appropriate to share.

What are your grateful for?

That question is basically what got me started in journaling – and perhaps your catalyst was your recent loss. Whatever your reason for beginning a journal, it’s a wonderful habit to cultivate. Putting your thoug...hts down on paper “releases” them to the Universe – you no longer have to carry them around with you.

"I write in my journal as I sip my first cup of coffee. Whatever shreds of my dreams I can remember go onto the pages – my plans for the day, my fears and my joys. You could use those few minutes to go on a “Rampage of Appreciation” – detailing all those things you love about the being you’ve just lost."

Journaling will bring healing, and this healing will bring:
1. A greater sense of “being alive”
2. Sharper thinking
3. Greater concentration
4. Better judgment
5. A more open and positive view of the world around you

Why?

In the next step of your video advertisement planning ... think about this question:

Why would someone NOT want to buy your product or service?

This step is as important as why they would want to buy your product or service.

Come up with at least 1 valid reason why a person might not want to buy from you:

1. Too expensive
2. Too much planning
3. Don't understand what you do

Then explain in more detail (at least 4 sentences).

Pain ...
Moving along in our journey to help you write the content/script for your company video ...

What problems do people have without your service or your solutions? What is their pain?

For example, if you own an air duct cleaning company (and your service is cleaning air ducts), what might be your potential customer’s pain?

Their pain, likely, is a dusty house or allergies or allergies of a family member.

Addressing their pain in your video advertising / video commercial will ensure they see and feel a need for your services.

Ignorance or Direct Competition

Think about your competition ... is your competition ignorance or direct?

If my service or product is something no one knows about, then I have the challenge of educating them about my brand and my service/product ... and that can be a challenge! They are ignorant!

If my service or product is something everyone knows about, then my competition is direct. So I have to sell them on what makes me special along with possibly educating them. They are definitely not ignorant!

The two are very different. It's important we address this question in your video advertising project!